It’s complicated…

Hi everyone

Today has been such a complicated day. In the beginning of the day everything looked fine, like a normal day. Suddenly I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t focus on studying, … after reading a page, I told myself I needed a break and started watching the “Criminal Minds” marathon. I was so tired and it was like 3pm. My dad wanted to learn me how to drive like he did yesterday. Yesterday everything went fine, it was like I had practised a hundred times. Because of that I had a really good feeling, I thought I was killing it. Today showed me I wasn’t, the car kept blocking and I got really scared and wanted to step out of the car and go home. My dad doesn’t give up that fast so I had to keep trying. I wasn’t happy at all. When I came home I started watching the other episodes of “Criminal Minds” and my crush (REID, Matthew Gray Gubler) was being abducted and tortured. Tears were rolling down my face, even if I knew it wasn’t real. Guess I was just having a mental breakdown or being oversensitive again. My day just wasn’t good and I feel terrible. Gonna post this tomorrow. Bye.

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What next???

Hello everyone,

I’m in my final year and the only thing everything talks about is what they are going to study next year. I’m also thinking about it and it’s so hard because you have to make a decision for (probably) the rest of your life. I still feel too young to make such a big decision. If I could choose, I would first finish this year and then travel the world, think about what I want to do with my life and then come back and study a bit longer. I think I would be a bit wiser then and I will know more about myself. There are like so many things you can study for and I have no idea what I really want. First I was really sure what I wanted to do in my life but know I don’t have a clue.

I’m dreaming of becoming an actress but I have like really zero experience and I don’t know anybody who’s in the movie industry, so there goes my dream. It’s so weird because I really do think that I will get there but I don’t take any steps to get there.

I hope you really know what you want to study and you are sure of it and if you don’t, don’t worry, you’re not the only one. Bye 🙂